Juokingos istorijos
tai va sita gera: eidamas i mokykla susitinku klasioka be kuprines, klausiu ko be kuprines. sako: ai tai ne isnamu einu, vakar gerem iki puse penkiu tai kai sendien atsikeliau nerandu nei kuprines su visom knygom nei issiblaiviau normaliai nu ce dar neviskas tai kai mes ekonomikoi sedim (pirma pamoka) nuo jo balta paduoda dar per du suolus tai aciu dievui kad ekonomikos nesugalvojo pavaiksciot per klase kaip paprastai bedestidama
You say it's not the real world,
Though it seems so real to me.
Though it seems so real to me.
- Trolis gumis
- Crowbar Master
- Pranešimai:1980
- Užsiregistravo:2003 07 19 14:23
- Trolis gumis
- Crowbar Master
- Pranešimai:1980
- Užsiregistravo:2003 07 19 14:23
cia tokia istorija ne istorija, greiciau prikolas klasiokui arba(ziauriausiu atveju), mokytojai.
dalykas tokis, kad juokinga nerealiai.
vienam ir tam paciam zmogui padarem 3 kartus ir vistiek visa klase luzo
tai va, geriausiai daryt prikola zmogui, kurio per pertraukas nebuna klasej, o ateina jau gerokai po skambucio. tai tokiam zmogenui paprasciausiai ant kedes pripili vandens(atrodo, nieko ypatingo). pripilt reikia kaip imanoma daugiau bet negalima leisti, kad vanduo kokiu nors budu nuo kedes nubegtu(pvz. kreiva kede).nu ir paruosus tokius spastukus kuo graziau pristumti kede prie stalo, kad kuo maziau matytusi.
visas linksmumas tada, kai nieko neraukiantis zmogelis pavelaves skuba atsisest i savo vieta, o tuo metu visi like sulaike kvapa laukia, ir vos tik auka atsiseda an kedes visi pradeda zvengt(nes neimanoma susilaikyt), o sis kokias 5 sekundes slapumo efekto nejaucia ir nezino kodel cia visi taip zvengia. galiausiai pajunta.....
ir tada prasideda antra juoko banga, kai stebima aukos reakcija. cia jau dalykas individualus, kaip kas reaguoja.
tai va, bajeris toks labai nekaltas, uz kuri net pykti negalima(gi neprispjaudo ant kedes, o tik vanduo),
bet kartu ir ziauriai juokingas.
siulau pabandyt, sekmes tikimybe apie 80%(kai kurie pasiziuri, pries sesdami).
net uztat nuotaika visai pamokai.
dalykas tokis, kad juokinga nerealiai.
vienam ir tam paciam zmogui padarem 3 kartus ir vistiek visa klase luzo
tai va, geriausiai daryt prikola zmogui, kurio per pertraukas nebuna klasej, o ateina jau gerokai po skambucio. tai tokiam zmogenui paprasciausiai ant kedes pripili vandens(atrodo, nieko ypatingo). pripilt reikia kaip imanoma daugiau bet negalima leisti, kad vanduo kokiu nors budu nuo kedes nubegtu(pvz. kreiva kede).nu ir paruosus tokius spastukus kuo graziau pristumti kede prie stalo, kad kuo maziau matytusi.
visas linksmumas tada, kai nieko neraukiantis zmogelis pavelaves skuba atsisest i savo vieta, o tuo metu visi like sulaike kvapa laukia, ir vos tik auka atsiseda an kedes visi pradeda zvengt(nes neimanoma susilaikyt), o sis kokias 5 sekundes slapumo efekto nejaucia ir nezino kodel cia visi taip zvengia. galiausiai pajunta.....
ir tada prasideda antra juoko banga, kai stebima aukos reakcija. cia jau dalykas individualus, kaip kas reaguoja.
tai va, bajeris toks labai nekaltas, uz kuri net pykti negalima(gi neprispjaudo ant kedes, o tik vanduo),
bet kartu ir ziauriai juokingas.
siulau pabandyt, sekmes tikimybe apie 80%(kai kurie pasiziuri, pries sesdami).
net uztat nuotaika visai pamokai.
sendien buvo toks fintas, dar nuo ziemos turejau AP, nors ir nlb geros kokybes bet px, tai sindien su draugu nuejom i vieta kur praeiviai retai uzsuka, susiradom kur sprogdint (neesme kad dar dregnas buvo) ikisom i AP saltaja ugnele ir uzdegem ja, as iskart atsitraukiauir pasisukau tolyn raut, o jis dar norejo kazka pataisyt, as tik pradejes begt isgirdau prislopinta sprogima, kai atsisukau mano draugelis du zinksnius paejo atbulas, prieinu arciau ziuriu- plaukai, antakiai, blakstienos, ranku plaukai apsvile, o pats nustebes, klausiu kas buvo, tas- as tik pajudinau saltaja ugnele ir kazkaip AP uzsidege, tai paziurejau kaip atrode liepsna. gal pusvalandi zvengiau is jo apsvilusio veido
You say it's not the real world,
Though it seems so real to me.
Though it seems so real to me.
as viena karta einu i mokykla ryte, prieinu pri lauko duru ziuriu visi i mane ziopso, galvoju kas cia dabar yra ir prisiminiau, kad kuprine pamirsau....
Ka daryt galvoju negi 7 pamokas be nieko sedesiu,
tai apsisukau ir namo.
Kol vel i sule nuejau tai i 2 pamoka pavelavau. O koks stresas atsimenu man tada buvo - visai nejuokinga
Va taip pirma kart pabegau is pamoku.
skaitau teroristo zinyna ir klaidu randu
"Pats kalio chloratas negali buti pagamintas namu salygom,..."
tik, kad as buvau pagamines.
Ka daryt galvoju negi 7 pamokas be nieko sedesiu,
tai apsisukau ir namo.
Kol vel i sule nuejau tai i 2 pamoka pavelavau. O koks stresas atsimenu man tada buvo - visai nejuokinga
Va taip pirma kart pabegau is pamoku.
skaitau teroristo zinyna ir klaidu randu
"Pats kalio chloratas negali buti pagamintas namu salygom,..."
tik, kad as buvau pagamines.
Nepatikti blogiems - girtinas dalykas. SENEKA
__________________________________________
progenic.com
library.2ya.com
__________________________________________
progenic.com
library.2ya.com
sulios bajeriai ir turisteku:
1) kramtoske ant kedes
2) paslept kuprine pamokos metu(kai visi po skambucio evokuojasi is klases vienas vargselis suivokia jog jo kupse dingo)
3)(rizikingas) pasilenkt po stalu pamokos metu ir to kas sedi uzpakaly batu raistelius pririst prie savo kedes.
4)siap narplint mazgyt viska kas risasi(cia jau vienam nepavyks reiks organizuot chebra)
/*karta buvom surise 6 kuprines ir 3 batus - klases rekordas*/
5)darbu pamokoje prikraut irankiu kam nors i kuprine
(cia jau nelabai juokinga) ziauriu atveju ir pjuvenu, medzio atlieku.
6)smeigtukas ant kedes
7)kai mokinys baigia atsakinet atsistojes pries jam sedant patraukt kede
(netoks ziaurus kaip is pradziu atrodo traumu jokiu niekad nebuna)
8)valant lenta padaryti uzrasa kol slapia nesimato kai isdziuna isryskeja
(cia jau reik praktikos)
9)palikt sms tusciuose sasiuvinio puslapiuose netoli galo.
10)jei mokykla netoli gamtos prisigaudyt ir atsivest gyviu pamokos praskaidrinimui.
11) chemijoje pasiuliti kam nors kad pavirintu amoniako tirpala
(skaniai pakvimpa - geriausiu atveju pamokos nebus)
mokytojos jau zino toki bajeri ir daznai duoda labai silpna tirpala
12)nupjaut kistuka nuo seno buitinio prietaiso nunuogint laidus susukt i viena vel izoliot, o toki itaisa ikist moksej i rozete(nebus elektros gan ilga laika) nepatarciau sito daryt visai nejuokinga ir truputeli rizikuojat sukelt gaisra.
13)pripilt pastos mieganciam i ranka ir kutent nosi(filmuot rezultata)
na ziauriu nerasysiu , o daugiau kaip ir neatsimenu
LINKSMU ISTORIJU dabar bus pilna
1) kramtoske ant kedes
2) paslept kuprine pamokos metu(kai visi po skambucio evokuojasi is klases vienas vargselis suivokia jog jo kupse dingo)
3)(rizikingas) pasilenkt po stalu pamokos metu ir to kas sedi uzpakaly batu raistelius pririst prie savo kedes.
4)siap narplint mazgyt viska kas risasi(cia jau vienam nepavyks reiks organizuot chebra)
/*karta buvom surise 6 kuprines ir 3 batus - klases rekordas*/
5)darbu pamokoje prikraut irankiu kam nors i kuprine
(cia jau nelabai juokinga) ziauriu atveju ir pjuvenu, medzio atlieku.
6)smeigtukas ant kedes
7)kai mokinys baigia atsakinet atsistojes pries jam sedant patraukt kede
(netoks ziaurus kaip is pradziu atrodo traumu jokiu niekad nebuna)
8)valant lenta padaryti uzrasa kol slapia nesimato kai isdziuna isryskeja
(cia jau reik praktikos)
9)palikt sms tusciuose sasiuvinio puslapiuose netoli galo.
10)jei mokykla netoli gamtos prisigaudyt ir atsivest gyviu pamokos praskaidrinimui.
11) chemijoje pasiuliti kam nors kad pavirintu amoniako tirpala
(skaniai pakvimpa - geriausiu atveju pamokos nebus)
mokytojos jau zino toki bajeri ir daznai duoda labai silpna tirpala
12)nupjaut kistuka nuo seno buitinio prietaiso nunuogint laidus susukt i viena vel izoliot, o toki itaisa ikist moksej i rozete(nebus elektros gan ilga laika) nepatarciau sito daryt visai nejuokinga ir truputeli rizikuojat sukelt gaisra.
13)pripilt pastos mieganciam i ranka ir kutent nosi(filmuot rezultata)
na ziauriu nerasysiu , o daugiau kaip ir neatsimenu
LINKSMU ISTORIJU dabar bus pilna
Nepatikti blogiems - girtinas dalykas. SENEKA
__________________________________________
progenic.com
library.2ya.com
__________________________________________
progenic.com
library.2ya.com
Mano istorija. Einu is Europos prekybos centro, snekuosi su sunenu, duodu jam maisiuka kad panestu savo multikus ir PLiAUKST!!! atsitrenkiau i stulpa.... Fui...gerai kad niekas nemate
Arba buvau ant kapu su tevais, man reikejo nesioti israutas zoles ir ismesti i siuksliu deze ir tik SLYYYST! ir nuciuoziau nuo kalno... slydus batai.
Arba buvau ant kapu su tevais, man reikejo nesioti israutas zoles ir ismesti i siuksliu deze ir tik SLYYYST! ir nuciuoziau nuo kalno... slydus batai.
Kontrolierius keleiwiui:
-jusu talonelis?
-mano talonelis.
-jus ka ligonis?
-o jus daktaras?
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis.
-ka cia ta pati kartojat, kitu zodziu nezinot?
-zinau: siurblys.
-as kontrolierius!
-o as santechnikas.
-pas jus wisi namie?
-o norit y swecius?
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis.
-jus ka zuikis?
-o jus wilkas?
-jusu talonelis!
-o kam jums?
-as pasiziuresiu...
-tai nusipirkit ir ziurekit.
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis. O stai ir mano stotele
-jusu talonelis?
-mano talonelis.
-jus ka ligonis?
-o jus daktaras?
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis.
-ka cia ta pati kartojat, kitu zodziu nezinot?
-zinau: siurblys.
-as kontrolierius!
-o as santechnikas.
-pas jus wisi namie?
-o norit y swecius?
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis.
-jus ka zuikis?
-o jus wilkas?
-jusu talonelis!
-o kam jums?
-as pasiziuresiu...
-tai nusipirkit ir ziurekit.
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis. O stai ir mano stotele
Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
<xpiromx> True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
<xpiromx> My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
<xpiromx> There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
<xpiromx> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
<xpiromx> It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
<xpiromx> One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
<xpiromx> She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
<xpiromx> She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
<xpiromx> I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
<xpiromx> She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
<xpiromx> I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
<xpiromx> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
<xpiromx> I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
<xpiromx> My future father-in-law was standing outside.
<xpiromx> With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
<xpiromx> We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
<xpiromx> The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"
HAHA
<xpiromx> My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
<xpiromx> There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
<xpiromx> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
<xpiromx> It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
<xpiromx> One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
<xpiromx> She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
<xpiromx> She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
<xpiromx> I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
<xpiromx> She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
<xpiromx> I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
<xpiromx> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
<xpiromx> I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
<xpiromx> My future father-in-law was standing outside.
<xpiromx> With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
<xpiromx> We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
<xpiromx> The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"
HAHA
Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value .
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value .
Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
<DarkArchon> She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit
<DarkArchon> Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
<DarkArchon> I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
<DarkArchon> She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
<DarkArchon> I told her that was what the beer was for.
<DarkArchon> I don't think she's coming back....
<DarkArchon> Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
<DarkArchon> I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
<DarkArchon> She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
<DarkArchon> I told her that was what the beer was for.
<DarkArchon> I don't think she's coming back....
Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
sitas tai nemirtingasbrain5ide rašė:Kontrolierius keleiwiui:
-jusu talonelis?
-mano talonelis.
-jus ka ligonis?
-o jus daktaras?
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis.
-ka cia ta pati kartojat, kitu zodziu nezinot?
-zinau: siurblys.
-as kontrolierius!
-o as santechnikas.
-pas jus wisi namie?
-o norit y swecius?
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis.
-jus ka zuikis?
-o jus wilkas?
-jusu talonelis!
-o kam jums?
-as pasiziuresiu...
-tai nusipirkit ir ziurekit.
-jusu talonelis!
-mano talonelis. O stai ir mano stotele
No smint - no kiss, no kiss - no sex, no sex - no baby, no baby - no problem. So no smint - no problem